....coz .....when Love Isn't Reciprocated With Love, It Hurts Deep Down Inside.

"Don't Care So Much For Me,
I May Get Used To It.

Don't Come So Near To Me,
I May Not Be Able To Detach From It.

Don't Put So Much Faith In Me,
I May Not Be Able To Handle It.

Don't Touch Me The Way U Do,
I May Not Be Able To Get Over It.

Don't Become A Part Of My Life,
Because Without You, I Won't Be Able To Live It.

Don't Make Me Fall For You,
I May Not Be Able To Fall Out Of It.

Don't Come Into My Life,
If You Have To Leave One Day.
Don't Give Me The Hope,
That It's Forever U R Going To Stay.

Because Love Is An Emotion,
I Won't Be Able To Hide.
When Love Isn't Reciprocated With Love,
It Hurts Deep Down Inside.

Don't Start Something,
That I Won't Be Able To End.
Don't Make Me Believe,
That You Can Be More Than A Friend.

Because At The End Of It All,
I Don't Want To Hear You Say,
That," I'M SORRY",
"But I Never Felt The Same Way"...... "



is it bad to like someone......????
...like someone to a point that you feel theres no other way.......
but to love and no other reason to live other than love......
..is it bad to like someone that much......?

the above poem is a copied one........but the reason I kept it in my blog is that the words truly reflect my feeling....or to say my state of mind right now.....
.....therefore a little bit of copying business......
.I hope the poet doesn't mind.....
...after all imitation is the best form of flattery.....right?......so, no offence....ok?


but my trouble is that no one asked me to take the pain........its just all in my imagination ....all this love...affair....and emotions........and..........
no one said any thing........no one promised me any thing.............so..........why do I moan............and whom should I complain.............and whom should I ask for my medicine...........

then I guess .................I have to live with my maddness.............may be all my life............

like spiderman said ................. you have to choose ...............choose between what is right and what is easy..................its easy to follow what others are doing..........

I mean ....I m sorry it has nothing to do with my disease..........................but still ...................its a question of choice.............shall I live like others like a normal girl................or do what my heart desires...............

.....duniya-banewalle kya tere man me samye......kahe ko ............? ? ?

believe me..............girls can be weird.................so weird ...............and so complected that even GODS cant understand them...................leave alone mortal men......!

you want example.......? ? ?
.......I will give you example.............and believe me I do have examples ......

...............like....................

when girls like someone or even like the comment they will smile and say " you are so mean".........
...........when in reality they are "so very happy" with the compliment...................


another example.........................


..........they will cry when they are happy...... .
..........will smile if they dont like anything.....

.....will not utter a word and would say nobody understands me.................

( I mean ....how the bloody hell anybody will understand you if you bloody hell dont say anything.........huh.....? ? ?.....are the people antaryami.......or what ........? ? ?)


.........no......stilll.........he would have understood me if he would have loved me......................!
now can you argue with that........
........no......
.........I guess not ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

...............chalo ye shart bhi rakha hai ke agar payar karna hai to man ki baat bhi parni chahie.......



will love someone madly...........and wont say anything to him.............. not even a word.......

........but would pour out the minutest to minutest detail to friend about how she had a querrel with the sabjiwalla over a pau-kilo over-priced bhindi...................right down to the details about the size of the ladiesfinger....... details are important you know...............!

....................I mean ........would buy anything .......even if she doesent like it.......if its a rupee cheaper.........and again would buy torn clothes cause its designer................


isnt it so very unfair.......? ? ?

do I ? really ? ? ?

....last day Rookie said that the reason he got stuck with me was because ...........
.........I write well......

.....I didnt quite really believed him....
but................
...even though I wanted to disagree...................
...a part of me really wanted to believe him..

.................really wanted to.................
........ ...............but ................
.......................my another half smiled at me ........................
.....................and ...................................
said................... are you nuts? or what ? writer you...? are you crazy.......? not in a million years........not even in a thousand million years....

...but then why did I wanted to believe him........wanted to believe him so badly....


....is this what I really wanted to be.........may be ...
may be...

...may be really I wanted to be good at it....coz this is what I really enjoy doing .....

.......I enjoy writing .........sounds crazy.....
..but I liked his words ....and truely wanted to believe him.......

....that .........................
.................I m good at it..........
and wanted to believe that...................................
......and may be some one, some day will really like my work and
would really appreciate it whole heartedly .............
........and would say someday that I like you writing............
.......without any intension

just pure and simple words of appreciation...............no other reasons no other intensions, ......................no other interest..............

.........ohhhhh no...
...heaven knows I m not doubting Rookie.........

..............its just that I m still in disbelief that anyone can seriously like my writing and say that
as well.....
.....coz it never happened to me before .....
...never in my life.........

...............well.............. yes of course........................ once..........
......once some one did appreciate my writing ............
.......but then he never did it again.........
........so I m in a kind of a dileama....... is it true....................? ? ?


...................but you know something ..........
.........even though I doubt my abilities..........
....still its the one that like to be good at ..........
........and thats the reason I have opened my blog so that I can write without bothereing anyone else..........
...you see ita a pain for others to read a new writers creation.......
..............you have bloody hell no idea how pesty we can be......
.....always behind the othere to ask .........and pester them how was my writing..........
................so this blog is more safer ............
...........for me as well as for the others too.....
.....they are safe from the torture to read my craps....
.and....well.......
I m safe too.........from their curses.................! ! !


but then do I ?
do I have this ability?
the ability to express myself in words..............?
I dont know..........I really dont know........
.... I have always remained a confused kid..........
.....actually what kid?
I m still confused as an adult also........
.......so how can I express myself in simple words?

........but then thats what he said.........
.......in his words.................
......" u hv uncanny power of express deeper thoughts into simpler words ...".................? ? ?

really ? ? ? ? ? ?
do I have it?
if its true .........then I will feel blessed ..........
.........coz thats what I wanted..........
......even in my life too.........
........I feel that we make ourself our life too complicated......
...why cant life be simple...........? ? ?
simple as it should be? why do we make our own world uncomprihensible...........? ? ?


..................and I have bloody hell no idea............


................for me....
...if you ask me.......
...........we should do the things we want to ......
........speak to the people we want to speak to.........
.........and not think the consequences........for once........
.......I know what I asking is chaos and confusion everwhere.........just imagine ......people doing whatever they want to........
....and its a scary thing to even imagine.......
.......but once .....
...once cant we act in the manner we want to?
and that will be when we are in love...
...yes difficult thing to understand.....
..more difficult to express even ......
...but this is what I m saying.........
......for once in your life do what your heart desires..........
.........and say what your heart truely wants to say ........
...........without any hesitation.............
..........and believe me God will be with you.........
.......and if he is busy somewhere elsse ...
.then believe me I will be there with you all the way long..
..even if I m busy..................!

........you know ' Dil ke mamle me hamesha dil ki sun na chahie'...............



and you will ask how the hell do I know about it?
what have I done to get the right to give such kind of advise to others ..........
well....................if you ask me.............

thats what I did.........and will always do................

always........................

and ...........................





always.....................................

crickters.....

You see…….every word I say has a reason behind it
……….and I really mean the words I say

…….however irrational it may sound……………….

and the fact is that I like cricketers……
even though I m not so much in to the game……..


coz the last time I played cricket…..I broke my glasses….
and my bowler….


well….
he lost his front tooth …….



But still I like them…………why…? …

…well I like their spirit ….what we call……sportsman spirit……

…..the ability , the guts , the self-respect you need to shake hands with with the winning captain keeeping a brave smile and holding your head straight…..

……even if your heart is aching for the lost match….

.that kind of spirit………that I admire in a true sportsman……..


To tell you frankly ….its your sportsman spirit, the practicality, the gentleman inside you , the frankness that I liked the most…………

….and honesty is all I have……..all I have to give.......