Let me first confess….its really tough to handle one thing at one time, let alone writing about three guys at the same time with equal attention and affection if you may ask!!!!!!!!!
I want to write about all three of them ………….that’s true!
But I have only one brain and ten fingers ………and that’s also very true!
So whom to write about first????????????
Tough question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you ask me…… its really difficult, not only to pick the first one, but also to write about him…..mostly because:
1) lack of time ,
2) lack of energy,
3) lack of access to net,
4) more importantly ………lack of talent (that will be me…..my lack of talent to be precise!)
……and therefore making it really hard and difficult to decide for the optimal utilization of resources!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm………..now lets see……………..
1. Fox Mulder ………….I was crazy about him…..I still am…………..!
2. Photographer……………I hate him for the fact that I like him so much…..still do!
3. Rookie………I owe him…..but the real reason?…hmm…I like talking about him!
So…… the very fact that I m writing about this person first…….
and him alone……………..
clearly shows my …should I say…..favoritism? or partiality to one person ……
……..Reason????
Don’t ask …..I don’t know either……
…..when I do I will let you know……
….till then accept the fact that I m partially blind to one particular person!!!!!!
Can’t help it dear ……
……so ……………
………………make room guys …here he comes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well………………now………………
Some times I think I know him ………..some times I think I don’t …………….
Some times I hope he likes me………………some times I fear that he won’t ………..
Sometimes I think he likes talking to me ……and some times I get “there’s no new sms in your inbox”……………
Sometimes he seems to be a simple nice guy…….sometimes a paradox!!!!!!!
And there’s no cracking this complex puzzle written in an unfathomable code …..I can just hope that he is compatible with my format!
you know……
.. in life…
… there are sometimes when you just forget …whether.. if your liking is reciprocated with the same fondness or not …
And that…………
…….just liking some one gives you such a pleasure and consumes you with such contentment that every other detail just seems unnecessarily redundant.
…and….
………when you start to like some one for the simple reason that liking him makes you feel good …..and you like to talk to him for no other reason but that you like talking to him…………..you like to reciprocate your feeling………….every sad ones ….happy ones ……miserable days or exuberant evenings………..you like to share every minute details of life however insignificant that may seem …………..you know its time that you blog about him ! ! ! !
How?…………why?……….the reason? ……………the logic? ………....the objective?
…………..I don’t know ………
…….and the irony is that it was I …….who liked analyzing things!
…..it was I who believed everything happens for a reason….and serves a particular purpose ……
……GOD…….!!!!
Know what?????
I think …..rather than me finding him………….it was more of he… who decided to pick me ……it was his relentless patience and kind nature that he survived while others faded away. Though, I still don’t find a reason for him being so kind towards me…….may be its his nature of being polite to everyone, giving everyone a chance to be good, or he is just blessed with impeccable etiquette! Don’t know!
Whenever I think of him…..I remember the phase in my life filled with Harry Potter, Bhanu’s filmy quizzes, working with a zeal and then gradually getting disillusioned, feeling lonely away from home, and then getting an opportunity to came back to Kolkata, holidays during Durga puja, chatting like nuts till late nights, and then getting rebuked by dada for staying up late, a phase when I thought I could have everything I can wish for ……!
The exuberance, excitement, confidence, doing all the wrong things in life…..well I won’t say them to be exactly “wrong” ….. may be crazy things ….. I did all the stuff I never thought I could do or I would have guts to do …it was great…..but its over now……
…..you see…..I am really extremely ordinary, average, run of the mill, mundane, boring, “dal-bhat-macher jhol-ranna-kora”, not-that-popular in office, movie-crazy yet don’t quite understand matrix, harry potter loving and Dan Brown and Jhumpa Lahiri loving all at the same time, travel-freak though travelling only through discovery and ‘snaps of others’ a middle aged not-that-ohh-my-god-looking woman.
You see…..our worlds don’t co-exist in this universe! We are in different time zones if not in different era altogether!!!
You teach UNIX/LINUX (either one of the two or both) to the brilliant minds ……………..
………………I teach my father how to open word doc…..
You design websites……
…I make maps…..
You are super informed about every thing in this cyber world…………….
.I get elated …euphoric just to be able to attach a file to mail or zip any folder…..
(Whatever that means in your world…)
You are smart, popular with girls……
99.99% of the boys I know ….are all my relatives!!!
You are funny, witty; articulate…
…I have to write down jokes to save my grace……
You can assemble computers……
to me smps and ups are one and the same thing…….
There was no way that our path would have crossed…
yet ….
.they had…..!
Life is as confused as Dharmotola crossing……!!!
Sure …we don’t talk as much as we used to …….but hey …no regrets …..I am blessed just to be a friend of yours…..there’s no room for complaints…….esp. after those 9 DVD that you gave…….you know in my life …… people usually tend to forget my birthday as it coincides with the new year thing…..and everyone would be excited about what to do, where to go ……(its really sucks to be born at the last day of the year…..)…I never had many……or any grand celebrations at house or with friends……that means missing out good food and most importantly absolutely no gifts at all…..whatever gifts that I have received in my life span were…well….. the things I could do without ……
but …………
………what you gave to me was something so valuable, so important that ……that I cant simply put that to words……and as I have said earlier, was one of the finest moments in my life where I got something that I really desired………and that if I try to explain or detail out my emotions it will be lost in words……
its undeniable fact that ….you were the first of the third kind…………what I believed to be non-existent ………..you are first in everything …almost everything……..right from being the first orkut friend ….to the first boy that I have ever gone out for a movie…..alone…..you were the one who reinstalled the belief that friendship can exist even if you are not equal in terms of intellect (higher in your case) or age (higher in my case)…….that sharing doesn’t necessarily mean talking for long lengths…..and that even after a decade without any communication you still remind me of the nice times that I had with you, the lousy craps in the name of movie that we have wasted our times to, the jokes that you told in impossible of times, the texts in my mobile …..
……the things that count in life are not always countable
…….they are sum of those moments when we shared a laugh, a thought, a feeling….name of movies which I knew we would both enjoy…..
(and…..an impossible grin flashes…...)
….you see…
its more like an old favorite song..…
…which you don’t necessarily hum all the time ….but whenever you hear it …radio or anywhere…..you cant help but remember the lines….the words…. that made you feel in a certain way in the past……like the taste of butterscotch ice cream…..which lingers in your memory long even after the last slurp ……………
I can understand that most of what I m writing doesn’t add up to much sense……yet its quite comprehensible to me ….and perhaps to me alone…..even though I wanted to make it logical …..and believe me ….I tried……..
You see…… what I write is all me. I m not very good at it ……I try all the time ….but….…..there are times I can express myself……sometimes the emotions are just lost somewhere…. I'm not a good enough writer to become a writer. I read about others who can express things more lucidly …..and I think ….I wonder what that may feel like. Because for me, I write the things that move me…..or better….. force me to write…..
so lemme try again…..
you see….
thou are special to me…….
……precious….. in every way….
…. for many reasons beyond my own comprehension …..
It may be because you installed confidence in me….. that may be I m worth a thing or two….
…..that friendship can happen between two parallel universe……
…that if you reach out your hand….and take a chance….there will always a friend on the other side …… who shares the same views, feelings, likes the same kind of movies, shares the same liking in music(or..may be sometimes not…)…….and that its not you alone that suffer from loneliness…….there is yet another person who dies out of the same disease…………
And the reason …..if you still want the logic…… (which I would have appreciated if you didn’t)……..is that…..I believe…..when you say out your emotions or feelings……you can hear them only once….and once said they are lost for ever….and even if you want to….you cant have them back……….on the other hand letters or writings are more enduring ….and while letters are a more private affair and should be reserved for your special girlfriends only……..its in my blog that I give recognition of my faith to you and our friendship!
…………………………..
………………..what ???????????????
……………..not sleepy yet………………….?????
This kind of crap happens when you don’t get enough sleep …..keep awake till 2.30 in the morning……and try to do the impossible……
…...well …it was you who encouraged me to write …..and now you just faced the consequence!
What I could have said in few words….
…… instead of this awful epic …..
…is that…..
Rookie……..I love thou more than I do Tom Cruise or Daniel Craig or Robert Patterson put together…….
…its Anthony Hopkins that you should look out for !!!!!!!!!!!!!
