Hmmm….horns of dilemma !!!
……I have office work …..n…….I have things to write about …
Now….…what to do ….???
Ohh… what the heck….damm with office work …
what the worst can happen??? ….I will get busted again…or may be kicked out….
still…I m still in for writing the things I want to …..
well………..
have all the people around me gone crazy…..
or are they were all been abducted by aliens ???
geez ……how come they have the same questions in their mind at the same…..????
And that’s
“when are you getting married dear ?”
Yeah, right ! ! ! As if I m in a mood for suicide!
……sometimes I think its just their way of getting revenge or what ……like make the same deadly mistake as they did ……..! wooo hooo …….no way man…….!
I think I m pretty happy the way I m ……
with my mirror-cracking looks and outstanding intellect I m pretty much having the time of my life dear……
ohh except ofcourse of the office thing….there I really suck…..infact I stink almost….
but that’s something one cant help …..you have to suck somewhere…..
you cant be good at everything ……can you ???
Well……if ya weigh my situation from my point of view you might get the logic….at least I hope so ……...which I cant explain to others in a more sane manner than this……..geez …this is one of the many reasons….one of the main reasons……… I took up writing …….you can put your thoughts without someone arguing back…..which is pretty cool…..I think !
Yup…now the logic……
Well……. There’s no logic actually ……if you think of it ……
…..ahhh …..what the heck again….its me against myself…..I have to believe anything I say……
I think I m pretty cool in the way I m …like …..who wants more tension in life dear……when you have enough already…..
when I was in school….I used to get tensed about getting through the class without getting thrown away …..which was pretty tough
…..I would always goof up with my books…..wrongly copy the homework from others……wont do the work in time…..the habit of what still follows me….
When I grew up …..I mean I was in college…..things got tougher…..!
N then…. when I was away from home ……hell broke loose……what type….how much…don’t dare to ask….try surviving a day without family….n then ask……!
Life……work…office…..Jesus !!!…..how much more can you handle at one go???
So it never seemed strange that a girl like me……
(ok…I have to stop referring myself as a girl……I m a woman now……who is now getting old……though not quite growing up actually……)
Well…the truth is that …..it never bothered me…..that I never …never had a boyfriend in my entire life (……well…not quite entire life …you shouldn’t count the days in nappy)……well….never in my adult life!
,,,which now …when I think of it……and esp. when asked about ……..find it quite hard to explain …that why I never had an affair with anyone …..I mean a seriously serious one…….watching the birds don’t count as an affair!
Hmm….
one reason….perhaps the main ……and more logical one might be
my “drop-dead-oh-my-good-lord” looks !
I m always famous for my size ….to say it more politely……which I cant really help…..I mean I can help…..but then why should I ??? I never found a good reason enough to let go the things I love …..n food is one of them! So the thing is that …though I m fit enough to trek around mountains…..I could never fit in a jean…….! Ahh …no regrets there either…..jeans is totally not comfortable ……looks good but totally not comfortable.
May be its because of the brains……which unlike my body……do fit in a pea shell!
Ok ok …..I admit ….I m exaggerating …..its bigger than that…..its perfect for a walnut !!!
But then…..are the looks and the brain the real cause ???
hmm…..I have a friend whose looks are smashing …if I must say so being a girl…
…yet she don’t have one …..
……I have one with the best IQ I have ever seen …..even she has a series of wrong boyfriends…
….I should better not talk about Malinee……who posses both the qualities and yet to have one date till date !
so ,
what’s going wrong in here ???
beats me…..men always say women are enigma…….but I think the feeling is mutual…
…..I have bloody hell no idea what men wants!
Hannibal once told about the 3b principle …..but that’s clearly not working in here !
So ??? may be the problem is much more deeper than just the 3b’s …….may be ……
Well ….frankly …I have no issues about having a relationship…….things are pretty romantic and all…
..it when it comes to marriage …..wedding or rituals……I spook off !
may be its an internal fear…… the deep down core primal fear that I have in marriage …
..and its because of the fact that I don’t think I m pretty much of a wife material!
…..bloody hell man…..I cant even take care of myself…………how m I suppose to take care of an entire family ???
…..dont know ……I believe I wont make a very good wife ……..and that’s a fear I will never get rid off….
when I think of myself ….I find so many mistakes ….
I m not pretty much good at anything other than cooking……I m kinda lazy, procrastinating silly old fool ! yup that’s the picture I have in my mind when I think of myself…..but then everybody is not perfect …..are they?
Even mentally …..if you think of that too……I m not very sound…..I keep forgetting things……I lose track of all the chores to be done…….when I talk of one thing or listen to one ……my mind keeps wondering to hell knows where …..and they are not a very good sign of a sane person ! I have crazy ideas, strangest of thoughts……now that I m thinking of that ….I should go n see a therapist ……I mean ppl take medicines for my kind of symptoms……!
Now to sum up the entire non-sense ……I think it makes pretty sense that I should retain my spinsterhood …..if not for anything………its for the greater good of the mankind …….
Say what ????
……..of course
……until I meet a more lunatic person than I m……
well….
……….then I cant promise anything ! ! ! Can I ? ? ?
