‘Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?’

let me put this straight first..............
I m not at all in love with you................
even if I say I do....................
I m not in love with you .....................
not a bit.......nor a byte...............
I m not at all in love with you !

m I out of my mind ?
just because I look over your pictures...pictures taken by you .....of you ...
(I mean ...whats the difference????????????
both are equally magnificent creations !!!!!!!!!!!
.............isnt it ?)
just because I see them a million times.............and yet again ???
and every time I take a break from work ......I look at those and feel like transported to that world ....and let out a secret sigh , I m in love with you ??????
you gotta be kidding me !


I m not at all in love with you ...................
not an inch...............not a mile .......................
even if I say I do..............................
I m not at all in love with you ...................!


I m positively....absolutely....definitely........not in love with you.......
even if I think you are sexier than Brad Pitt....more deliciously handsome than Keanu Reeves.....and even more ridiculously charming than Hugh Grant !!!
and that every time I see you .............I go weak in knees......n every time I see that glint......that sparkle in your eyes.....that killing smile (....you gotta stop smiling immediately...........I mean they should arrest you for it ............I mean how many more casualties do you want ??)

and every time I look at you ..............or even think of you ...............my heart skips a bit ............Jesus !!!!!!!!!!!! have mercy !!!!! I
gotta see a doctor...I mean its so difficult to breathe, so impossible to stay calm and my hands starts to tremble ...........
Lord ! m I suffering from anemia ???

love you ?????
its more like I hate you ..............
I really hate you for ...................for ................well..........
.....for mostly living the life I always wanted to live................
……. Coz it was you who fired my imagination……
…. And I started to live my life through you …
… One who is doing the things I always dreamed of doing …. Going places I always wished to go……
… doing what you feel like doing…
… having the personality I always aspired to have…..
this burning envy that’s there within me .......may be still has stayed back......
and when you envy so much about a person …….a part of that person lingers back in your heart …………..and more you envy the more larger part stays behind ………..and slowly it grows and matures and starts having a life of its own ……………..and you start imagining things that you know you should not …….you mustn’t ………….you cant ………..and then there’s the point when the real trouble begins ……….point where you start talking to yourself in your head with another person. Normal people call those first symptoms of going nuts …..
but poets ….
…..hmmm …..
they are different ……
…..they call it falling in love ……!
……crap…!!!!!!!!!!!
………. these poet people are psycho!!!!............. I should stay away from them.
It’s a really dangerous if you ask me ………arguing with oneself ……….you will never know who will win or may be more importantly ….you don’t know whom you want to win!!! whose side you are on?!?!


Finally………….
I know inside my head - that you don’t …..yet inside my heart - I hope that you do …
…and probably in reality you don’t even know I exist in this stupid world …
…but still I do …
.. I want to……
I would love to ……
……I know I won’t dare…. ever ……coz I have been burnt once n I m too afraid to try it again or may be too mortified …
…I don’t know ………

May be you will know ….
…….may be you don’t …
…..…may be you already know and don’t care…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To me …you will always be that wonderful guy who could do anything he wished for and had the courage to pursue his own dream…..that cool dude……who still has a sensibility to appreciate the poem “wear sunscreen”……who still stumbles and chuckles out a wonderful laughter when a silly nervous obsessive fan calls up and soothes out her tension by agreeing with her silly ideas……
…….you are a great guy ! May your tribe increase ………!
……so…..
….yet ……
….I will always be your researcher who still turns back and gives a second look whenever she sees a black pulsar 150dtsi….

…….still …………..!